Imagine a toxic sport in which old British gentlemen are the premier athletes. Voilà, you’ve got speed pipe smoking!

Watch as these four warriors face off in the pastures of Cumberland, England in 1969. It’s a short, high-intensity battle lasting just under a minute and requiring great lung power. While all four pipe-smokers show talent, you can see that the man in the hat is the clear front-runner. He puffs away with great alacrity and barely any lip movement—and unlike his three competitors, he does it with no hands.

(That said, Gandalf the Grey would put all these fellows to shame.)

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